ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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