I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
