it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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