i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
