So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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