Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
well you can't waste a boner
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
