You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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