in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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