Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
