the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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