who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
