the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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