I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize