Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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