he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
