sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i think my tv is drunk
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All I want is dick and wine.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
im on a boat
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