I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
