DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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