You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
