why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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