i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i drank out of a bidet.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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