Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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