i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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