Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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