just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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