You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
