I'm gonna have a badass scar
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize