I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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