ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
