im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
