I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
