My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
