Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
