I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
