i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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