Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
