do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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