We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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