It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Reggie can tackle my bush.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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