Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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