u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Your cock deserves a montage
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
