it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
