apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
