how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
