so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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