Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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