I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize