I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
