i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
