i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
