Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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