porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize