I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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