guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
