i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize