This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we're so committed to being not committed
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