Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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