that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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