that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
