he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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