I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
