I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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