Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
