If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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